Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in W0OT W0OT's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, April 25th, 2007
1:07 pm	ahh a never used livejournal, my escape from all others In my own relations and personal experiences… what is anorexia Anorexia is when. * by observation thanks to the psycho roommate. · When you run for an hour a day to the point you have STRESS FRACTORS IN YOUR FEET!!! And you continue to run. Even though your foot is too swollen to lace the top of your shoe without having to get longer laces. · When you eat 200 calories a day on top of this running and wonder why your body isn’t able to keep up to your 5 mile hour run anymore and you begin to pass out after a mile · When you wake up at 5 am, even though you went to bed at 1 am, to get a run in before you go to bed. · When you at 1 am before going to bed put on a sports bra and gym shorts so when you wake up you can go straight to the gym and not have to worry about changing. I have a few problems with that 1, you don’t wash your gym clothes and your lying in your dry salty sweat in your bed sheets! Who the fuck wants to wear a sports bra when they don’t have to? Ouch o Ok continuing, becoming bi-polar. I would be moody too if I was starving myself that severely o Thinking that eating a vitamin pill 3 times a day will counteract the lack of nutrition from the lack of eating o When you take a shower and more hair falls out than in the shower I share with my 54 year old mother Now whats the fucked up part of all of this? As rob says – “I don’t know why you fashion girls want to be so skinny, those people you see in fashion magazines you wont ever see in a playboy magazine, cause that’s not what men want” One problem with this, they DO all have boobs tho, damn I’m still screwed. Haha no no I just need to look at a black mans magazine; there front cover view is always of the back. And I wish everyone would stop saying I’m anorexic cause I’m NOTTTT! I don’t want to be super thin. I only need to lose 12 more pounds to be at my goal weight. Then there I wouldn’t mind staying for life. And yyeesss that is within the BMI I should be. A size 5 or 3 pants, whereever that weight takes me. And ill reach that goal hopefully end of may. W0ot w0ot! I cant wait to leave FIT. I cant wait to not have an anorexic bitch roommate. And I cant wait till subjects of conversation are boys and parties, not coke and how fat we all are. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 8th, 2007
2:12 pm	what? ive had this for years and finnally... an entry Im not really sure why im so depressed but i do know why im writing it here. Cause noone reads it. why? well ive never written in it. But id rather not have it on paper for the roomie to find or something, i feel its safer on the internet, hah funny right. and maybe... alittle bit of that, you want someone to know, you dont know who, you dont know if you should tell anyone but if they just happen to read it... thats what happened. New York doesnt feel like a home anymore. And nothing is glamourus about my area. I have the worst fake confidence and im becoming completly obbsessed with my weight. I go crazy if i didnt run for 40 min everyday... like i freak. then i do another hour of cardio and half hour of just weight lifting. And ive been lossing weight, and everyones been calling me skinny but its not good enough. I dont know if its ever gonna be good enough. I look in the mirrow and cry cause im so big. and that sounds quite anerexic like im aware and that scares the shit out of me. I dont want to be THAT girl. the problem kid... But after having 2 anerexic roommmates, your best friends anerexic and your whole school weighs less than you... you start to feel like your never good enough. And when people say OMG YOU LOOK SO GOOD YOUVE LOST WEIGHT! it just fules it more. If i get a compliment, i skip a meal. I dont know... its all so stupid, and i keep thinking to myself as soon as i leave FIT ill stop, i wont care, but im fooling myself. I thought id stop caring this winter break but it only got worse. But maybe it was only bad winter break cause i knew id be going back to FIT and i needed to prove something. I dont know I just want to be fucking happy! my lifes not that bad... why bother hating yourself? there are so many people out there with worst situations than mine and i cant take the emotional bashin from a bunch of coke junkies. I did for a year, i was strong willed, but i guess ive finnally grown tired of talkin to myself positivly and my strong will has been shot. I want my brother to come home from iraq, NOW! he doesnt support this war, i dont! NOONE BUT BUSH DOES! him and the blinde that want to think we send our young out there for a reason. Yes its all in Gods plan a mental man is controling our actions as a country, but point proven ok. Lord let them come home... dont send more men and woman. I want Briley to jump off a bridge. the anerexic bitch is back, she looks like shit, and its not emotionally ok for me to see her, or lexi, or fallon, or andrea, or anyone at this college. My "best friend" at FIT i cant even relate to.. and i dont feel comfortable talking to. Why does adam have to toy with me? seriously... And he drives me more Cause i wanna go back to him this summer and show him how much prettier i can be than i was. And yea he's already seen me naked but i want to actually be confident around him when i am. I dont even know what that point will be. oihdisdfkljsdfkljrgihrgfkjnxcvuwkrsfd I feel like everyone forgets about me when breaks over. If im not right infront of them im not important. and everyone has their own lives at college were they go and have good friends and parties and their happy. I WANNA BE FUCKING HAPPY. Like i used to be... freshman year of college. I dont know what else to say... i know im repeating myself. i feel like i wanna say so much more but i dont know what. I want a hug is what i really want. I want friends here. I want to feel ok with me. But looks like all of that is far far far from me (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, October 4th, 2004
6:42 am	me www.xanga.com/fukthesystem thats where you'll find me (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 5th, 2004
12:36 am	hah i decided to write an entry since i do have this journal, dont ever look hear agiant o read an entry, its for the sole purpose of just reading others. I HAVE A FISH NAMED MARLIN BRANDO THE 2ND (Comment on this)